Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Rang Barse...

Thanks to some favorable intersection of dates between the christian and the hindu calendar people in the IT industry had a good break from work with a long weekend. That allowed homing birds like me to head back home and celebrate one of my favoriate festivals- HOLI!!
Leaving from pune on thusday evening, I ran into almost all people i know in pune at the railway station. Sitting at Comesum (the restauraunt at the station) the tables were occupied only by IT employees. I ran into couple of school friends. It was really great catching up. I could say it was a perfect start to my hmmm vacation.

The train journey was as uneventful as it could get. with almost 70% train filled with people i knew it wasnt hard to pass time. Jumping from bogey to bogey just shouting around "oh!!! even you heading back.." and before i realised, it was time to get off.
On HOli day there wasnt much that i did. caught up with friends, smoked a couple of hukkas, killed time, wasted money and the same old stuff i always do when i am there. Had a chance to visit buddy lee cafe, and it turned out to be pretty nice, the place as well as the purpose of the visit. And then there was time to do the pooja of holi.

It was the next day that really made the trip memorable. DHULETI as it is called, the day started early with society friends ringing in, pulling me out of bed at 8 AM, and before i can say "What!" i was drenched with colored water and my face complexion gave way to pink and blue. And the day had begun. From water ballons to oil paints to GULAL (organic colour) to cowdung to dirt, u name the thing and it was used. People were literally picking up handful of mud from the road and throwing it around. With my cousins and friends adding up the numbers, we ran out of color pretty soon so had to go on another shopping spree at 9 AM. Till around noon people were celebrating in the society, until finally exhaustion took over most of them and with the long battle ahead in the bathroom, they started heading home. But i was far from done.

So i called up my friend and on his bike we set about wrecking havoc in the city. We coloured anybody whomsoever we could lay our hands on, shouting "happy holi!!". Reached mihirs place and as expected he was still in bed but we got him out and the "fair" complexion was no longer quiet visible. Kids in his society actually took him as an alien. Then it was siddhis turn and so on. finally it was nidhis house we raided and sadly for here the only color we had left was silver.. (actually we made sure that it was the only colour left). It was only when she saw the photos that she realized she had a "shining" face. close to 3 Pm i reached home and for next couple of hours scrubbed my body with all the soap i could lay my hands on. shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, soaps, washing powder everything was given a shot yet the colour refused to go. Finally i gave up saying "daag ache hai"..

Now here i am back in office after a 14 hour bus ride, more like a camel ride. hopefully wont have a long day here so that i can catch some much needed rest. Hopefully you guys too had a blast at HOLI. if not.. boo hoo you missed out.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Lone Man's Words

hmmm the past few days have been going really the usual (which is pretty unusual ).. the weekend was nothing special... hang out with friends , burn feul, come to office and head back home... and the past two days at office have been kind of relaxing with no deadlines to meet..
So anyways last sat wasnt really in the best of my moods when i had this discussion with my roomie regarding a dead friend of his.. and POP!! i got another theme to write a few lines on.. so here they are..

P.S. these lines are not based on any person or incidence in my life and totally dedicated to my roomie... (no names here as per the rules)..

Lone Man's words
----------------------------
Its been a while now

since you have been gone
But all I ever think of is you
Guess I never moved on

As I look into the mirror
its your reflection i see
in silence of this air
I can hear u breathe

with every second of clock
i wish you were here
close to me in my arms
just to feel your heart beat

And as i close my eyes
Its only you i see
On my bed just by my side
like an angel whispering to me

For so long i waited
To say how much i loved you
And all those time i treasured
but now its too late

All alone, with you far away
All color faded to shades of grey
I always tried to know
Just why you had to go

to this day i sit and ponder
Staring at all memories as loose threads
To this truth will i ever surrender?
The truth that you are dead!!

there you have it...
and dude you are never alone..

and so i take leave as i head back to a bit of work..

rock on...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Brain.printStackTrace();

With another week nearing its end, since my week is only from mon-fri, I was just shuffling though my grey cells to remember how the events last weekend had unfolded. Not that I am drunk and have had amnesia or anything. Just with nothing to do sitting here might as well note down what all "pleasures" of life did i experience...

And thats when i came across this piece of paper lying in my desk drawer. It had random thoughts written down with my handwriting!! After a few moments of memory check i realised it was my thought process i had penned down while sitting in office last sunday.. (ya thats the timepass you do with no work and no one else present in the entire building).. Anyways so here you go, the stack trace of all my thoughts that day for last 15 minutes while i waited for my cab.

Instructions:

whatever you are about to read is utter crap. Any coincidences with other peoples thoughts is highly unlikely

1) The thoughts are written down in italics
2) The text in normal fonts are my real life activities..
3) switch off your own mind


Time: 19:31

Should call the cab guy and ask for update..
(on phone) so megha hows the weekend? WHAT you are in an examination hall!!!

did i call the right megha? I think someone is shitting with me
Hmmmm m i talking to megha tiwari ?? No i am not some bank employee !! What exam??

why is she mumbling? god damn it this phone sucks.. And what exam is this now!! Did i have to go there too?
OH oki.. some bank exam .. (phew) Best luck

Atleast someone else is wasting her sunday.. Ok who else can i call (free local calls from office) ..
Browsing through the contacts list

Time: 19:33
OH SHIT!!! CATCH CATCH CATCH
THUD!

(skipped a heart beat here.) god please let it be on please please please
Picking my phone from the ground and unlocking the keypad lock..and the bright screen shines..

And god says "let there be light!" Damn i need a knight armour for this phone. Right, call the cab guy
Hello.. Ya i am calling from CTS.. Hmm CTS as in cognizant.. have my drop at this time so need a cab.. 10 mins more!!! Thanks

10 mins!! i need food yaar... rats will eat my intestines..

Staring at our company's magazine.

Time: 19:35

Where shall I go for dinner? whom shall i ask? Hardik is the best bet
Trying to get a proxy to get gmail woking.

Time:19:37

What these people think i am going to take code home or mail it somewhere!! Any normal IT guy needs access to mail.. Its like air for us..

The heck i am not authorized. Its MY account.
Staring at the same message on the monitor for past 2 minutes "you are not authorized to view this page bla bla bla"

Time: 19:38

Maybe i can get the smoke detectors to go off. Then we can have a real fire drill.
Looking at the ceiling.. (hoping to see stars!!).

hmmm.. na na na sutta muje sutta na mila..
moving my head left to right..(as if shuffling my playlist)

I am the clansman... FREEDOMMMM come on people FREEDOMM...
Need to play this song one day.. someday.. first need a singer for that
browsing through the songs on my phone

YES this is the next big song to hit the rock scene... BAPPI DA rules.. GO BAPPI \m/
Song blaring in my ear phones "you are my samosa , you are my masala dosa, you are my chicken fry , you are my fish fry, kabhi na kehna kudie bye bye bye"

Time:19:42
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!
(dont think i need to write what i was doing here)

Time:19:50
oh someone is calling me?? SOMEONE IS CALLING ME!!!
before i can pick up its a miss call

AHH That feels more like it.. Another miss call.. they think i own vodafone here!!!
zzzzzzzzz!!

TIME:19:55

is it me shaking or is it just another earthquake? Why is bruce calling me "sir"! have I been givenknighthood!!
Security guard shaking me trying to wake me up..

hmmm now what another fire drill!! i didnt even get the smoke detector to go off
"Sir your cab is waiting! Are you OK?"

now i will be ok .. need to get out of here..
"Thank you i will be down in 5"

oh yaa u dont knw english .. neither do i
Security guad staring at me as if i had cursed him

I am not a black magic guy
"aa raha hun bhaiya.. 5 min"

Time: 19:60

cya tomorrow morning my dear...
Waving goodbye to our campus as i head for home!!..


Finally the turmoil of working on sunday had ended.. guess i had better make this a habit.. of working on sunday that is..

anyways its annual day celebration here today so i am off..
milte hai agle episode mein isi time, isi comp se, isi blog pe, koi aur kachra leke..
tab tak ke lie..

take care brothers and their sisters ..

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dirtiest Jobs in IT...

After sitting in front of this splendid flat (wish my tummy would be like that) monitor since 6 30 scratching every single white hair on my head over a stupid issue refusing to resolve itself, i couldnt think of a better topic to write on.. I mean yaa i could dwell into depths of my life for a moral learning post but then you guys would be hitting me with this monitor itself.. especially someone sitting in the bay next to me (no names in public).. Right so getting to the article, i had come across this a couple of weeks back.. thought of sharing the insightful jobs of IT industry with all aspiring software engineers.. All those who are already in this shit as me, try and find where you fit in.. I fit in almost all except no. 6.. Here goes..

7) Legacy Systems archaeologist:

Job requirements: INDIVIDUALS FAMILIAR WITH VAXNMS,AS400(working on this), COBOL ETC AND OTHER LEGACY SYSTEMS WHICH NO ONE ELSE EVEN THINKS ABOUT(or for our generation who dont know they exist).
MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR LENGHTY PERIODS OF TIME. APPLICANTS MUST MEET MINIMUM AGE OF 55!!!

6) Help Desk Zombies:

Job Requirement: Excellent Entry level opportunity for multi-tasking.
Individuals must have low self esteem with ability to read from scripts
Potential to move up to bug scraper, password reset technician or tape rotation coordination.

5)Onsite reboot specialist:

Job requirement: Seeking individuals for onsite support of end users. Must be familiar with 3 finger salute of ctrl+alt+del and power cord reconfiguration.
Ability to withstand variety of personality types and work environments. Pemit for a concealed weapon a plus.
Individuals with anger management issues may not apply.

4)Inter Departmental Peace negotiator:

Job Requirement: Looking for self-starter skilled at moderating technical disputes between warring teams withing same company or betwwen the client and the company. Must possess experience in ego-stroking, manipulation, massage and hand to hand combat. (hv been doing this for past two weeks between tech and support teams in our proj.. tech rulezz...\m/)

3)Enterprise espionage engineer:(i refer to them as MI5 agents)

Job requirement: Seeking slippery individuals comfortable with lying, cheating, stealing, breaking and entering for penetration testing (AKA Hacking) of enterprise network.
Should be familiar with hacking, malware forgery and must be able to plausible impersonate pest control or fire marshall..

2) Datacenter migration specialist: (my manager is insistant on putting me at this task !!)

job requirement: Position involves relocating and reconfiguring datacenters over impossible distances (pune to london).. within a ridiculously short time frame. Prior experience a must as a cable jockey, console monkey or log zombie. (else you will be burried under cables and your ruins wont even fossilize!!)

Last but not the least
1)Sludge systems Architect:(pity these guys)

job requirement: Seeking individuals comfortable with acrobatics. Should demonstrate ability to squeeze over,under or between confined spaces to solve technical problems.
Candidates should be prepared to work for long hours with less pay under adverse conditions. (Fire in building isnt even adverse its considered normal)..
Applicant shouldnt be allergic to sawdust, vermin, air bourne pathogens or sewage!!

there you have it folks Dirtiest jobs in IT as per a survey recently conducted in 5 major IT firms.. (yes microsoft was one of them and so was google).

So while i head back to my previous blue screen and work.. those of you getting into IT ...
a TOAST to all of you!! (we are waiting..)

adios..
\m/

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Pump It!!

Finally i have net access from my comp.. (god bless my manager).. anyways yesterday as i hit the gym with my friend (for swimming ofcourse i still keep away from dolle sholle ) i had a sudden recollection of a really funny incident that had happened few months back.. so heres a post for all that nostalgia

Location: Symbiosis Gym
Dated: 13/8/2007

Yesterday was a really bleak day as far as activities were concerened..(ofcourse with respect to my life tht is) The test went off pretty well.. somehow managed to get the minimum requirement of 60%.. (thank god). Then as planned had to go for DHUN practice at around 6 30 but my friend told me it wont happen till 7. maybe even 7 30.. so well what to do??
TT tables being occupied and already stuffed with the recent vada pav i had had… i opted to venture out and pay a visit to Symbiosis and inquire about the gym facilities..
So i headed for Symbi campus. And with mother nature being very kind, rains didnt harass me this time. As soon as i reached the campus everyone there seemed to notice someone out of place (me tht is).. everyone was loungin around the campus in tracks and tshirts and there i was alll formally dressed.. I struggled my way throug the winding campus to finally find the gym.. There it was a glass floor with the masculine gender tryin to tone their bodies…
So i headed upto the floor for the gym..(somehow gyms are never on the ground floor). As i reached the entrance, there was a momentary pause in activiities inside..(i think they took me as a salesman..) what followed took me by surprise initialy..
one of the boys (or man!!).. , on seein me, changed his dumbels to heavier ones and strted buildin his dole-sholey wid a renewed energy..!! down at other corner some other fellow puffs out his chest and strted warmin up.. I mean okay.. i hv some appeal when it comes to gals (though the repellin factor is high :p).. but GUYS!!!!.. i was just about to shout “I AM STRAIGHT!!”.. when frm the corner of my eye i saw the main reason for all the renewed interest in excersicin..
there behind me were two gals (i assume from symbi)..now i dun need to state their looks but u can imagine as they could make everyone in that room want to be ARNOLD or SALMAAN(for bollywood followers).. PHEW… everythin was normal.. i asked the rates ,of the gym ofcourse, and headed back out…
Maybe someday someone might renew the energy in me too to excersie and i might actually join a gym then just inquirin.. For now i m off for a lecture as traiing resumes..till next time take care and keep pumpin!!