Dirtiest Jobs in IT...

After sitting in front of this splendid flat (wish my tummy would be like that) monitor since 6 30 scratching every single white hair on my head over a stupid issue refusing to resolve itself, i couldnt think of a better topic to write on.. I mean yaa i could dwell into depths of my life for a moral learning post but then you guys would be hitting me with this monitor itself.. especially someone sitting in the bay next to me (no names in public).. Right so getting to the article, i had come across this a couple of weeks back.. thought of sharing the insightful jobs of IT industry with all aspiring software engineers.. All those who are already in this shit as me, try and find where you fit in.. I fit in almost all except no. 6.. Here goes..

7) Legacy Systems archaeologist:

Job requirements: INDIVIDUALS FAMILIAR WITH VAXNMS,AS400(working on this), COBOL ETC AND OTHER LEGACY SYSTEMS WHICH NO ONE ELSE EVEN THINKS ABOUT(or for our generation who dont know they exist).
MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR LENGHTY PERIODS OF TIME. APPLICANTS MUST MEET MINIMUM AGE OF 55!!!

6) Help Desk Zombies:

Job Requirement: Excellent Entry level opportunity for multi-tasking.
Individuals must have low self esteem with ability to read from scripts
Potential to move up to bug scraper, password reset technician or tape rotation coordination.

5)Onsite reboot specialist:

Job requirement: Seeking individuals for onsite support of end users. Must be familiar with 3 finger salute of ctrl+alt+del and power cord reconfiguration.
Ability to withstand variety of personality types and work environments. Pemit for a concealed weapon a plus.
Individuals with anger management issues may not apply.

4)Inter Departmental Peace negotiator:

Job Requirement: Looking for self-starter skilled at moderating technical disputes between warring teams withing same company or betwwen the client and the company. Must possess experience in ego-stroking, manipulation, massage and hand to hand combat. (hv been doing this for past two weeks between tech and support teams in our proj.. tech rulezz...\m/)

3)Enterprise espionage engineer:(i refer to them as MI5 agents)

Job requirement: Seeking slippery individuals comfortable with lying, cheating, stealing, breaking and entering for penetration testing (AKA Hacking) of enterprise network.
Should be familiar with hacking, malware forgery and must be able to plausible impersonate pest control or fire marshall..

2) Datacenter migration specialist: (my manager is insistant on putting me at this task !!)

job requirement: Position involves relocating and reconfiguring datacenters over impossible distances (pune to london).. within a ridiculously short time frame. Prior experience a must as a cable jockey, console monkey or log zombie. (else you will be burried under cables and your ruins wont even fossilize!!)

Last but not the least
1)Sludge systems Architect:(pity these guys)

job requirement: Seeking individuals comfortable with acrobatics. Should demonstrate ability to squeeze over,under or between confined spaces to solve technical problems.
Candidates should be prepared to work for long hours with less pay under adverse conditions. (Fire in building isnt even adverse its considered normal)..
Applicant shouldnt be allergic to sawdust, vermin, air bourne pathogens or sewage!!

there you have it folks Dirtiest jobs in IT as per a survey recently conducted in 5 major IT firms.. (yes microsoft was one of them and so was google).

So while i head back to my previous blue screen and work.. those of you getting into IT ...
a TOAST to all of you!! (we are waiting..)

adios..
\m/